Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands
by mrmastodon32690
Summary: What happens when your favorite characters from SC:2 enter a battle of the bands contest? Hilarity ensues. I've been getting alot of fan-mail and I wanted to say thanks to all those who like my story. R&R. COMPLETE!
1. Nightmare's Anguish and the Trio's Group

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd Mcfarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO.  
  
Author's Note: I originally planned this to be a serious story as you can feel in the first two paragraphs or so, then I felt like I really needed to relieve stress by writing a comedy. In my opinion what happens is pure hilarity. The main problem happens to be Nightmare and the team he recruits (a little obvious of course). It's not an obnoxious comedy, more or less a pure classic comedy.  
  
Somewhere outside Spain, the unholy terror of darkness once known to the world as Siegfried, known as Nightmare, leaning on the ever dark evil that was the Soul Edge. As his hatred brewed within him as he kneeled in the pouring rain, he thought only of one thing, to get the threesome that defeated him not too long ago as he emerged from the depths of darkness from whence he defeated the ever evil terror known as Inferno. Yet they failed to destroy Soul Edge, only leaving the crippled warrior to fend for himself. The threesome that defeated seemed to mortal and pathetic, but were warrior of the heart, none the less.  
  
  
  
Their war cries still rang in his ears as he relived the memory of a short-lived battle.  
  
It was humiliation and pain that could not be felt by anyone else. "Kilik… Maxi… and Xianghua. These are names I shall forget not. I will hunt down your souls and humiliate you in front of innocents of thousands, to mock of you greatly and to humiliate you to an extreme displeasure as I had felt." the fallen warrior stated under his breath, "Revenge will be mine you pitiless fools! I AM NIGHTMARE, THE NIGHT OF ETERNAL HELL!" he then screamed into the stormy sky. Far from that very place as Nightmare spoke, was the very people he was tormented of. Kilik, Maxi, Xianghua had just arrived in the well known Athens, Greece. But they weren't here on their quest to destroy Soul Edge as one may presume…  
  
"Alright guys, let's hit it from the top! 1 2 3 4!", yelled Kilik as he pounded on the strings of his guitar and the hard music then ensued as Xianghua began to sing, "From the top of Mount Olympus, to the deck of Cervantes's ship, we gonna kick your ass!". The music played for a good five minutes then the song came to a close. "Thank you! Thank Athens, woooo!" Xianghua yelled into her microphone. Everyone in the crowd yelled and cheered enthusiastically and some people randomly yelled things like "I love you Kilik!!!" "Will you marry me Xianghua!?!?" "Maxi is the greatest drummer for, like, ever!!!! Woooo!!!". The trio walked to the backstage and were instantly handed towels.  
  
Their manager, Heihachi gave an instant applause and slithered up to them in his snazzy business suit, but still wearing his gauntlets. "Why crew that show was magnificent!" as he gave a snake-like grin, Maxi mopped up his sweat and began to wring out his towel, letting the droplets hit the floor. "Well we earned a very generous amount of ticket money this concert, why I never would have thought the ex-warriors could have become such a big hit band, never thought you were THIS talented, a bwahahahaa", outspokenly laughed and the three all gave looks of disgust. "Well I must go see the NAMCO record dealer, remember, I still own you for the rest of your life because of this contract you signed!", smirked as he proudly began to walk away. Maxi, not missing an opportunity, quickly stuck out his foot and looked innocent as the evil business man tripped over it. "I'm sorry, my mistake"  
  
These three a band!?!? And Heihachi as their manager!?!? Well things are pretty weird enough, and what is Nightmare planning? AND WHAT IS THE BAND'S NAME!? I NEVER FOUND OUT! Maybe I should… they sounded pretty decent to me... I mean I could go to a good concert every once and awhile right?   
  
"Hey, stick to the script bucko!", Kilik roared.  
  
OK, yeesh, anyways, the answer to these questions and more next time on,   
  
Soul Calibur: Battle of the Bands 


	2. Nightmare's Scheme and a Trio of Misery

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd Mcfarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO.  
  
Author's Notes: Well thanks to the couple reviews I did get, which were good, I decided to keep going with it. Also decided I needed to type more to a chapter, considering how short ch. 1 was.  
  
As people ran into their homes as they were overcome by the feeling of dread as Nightmare approached, he slowly entered the village looking for some house to overcome for the night, when suddenly, the wind began to pick up and a paper blew in his face. "TREE REMAINS OF INSOLENCE, PREPARE TO MEET THY DEMISE!!!!!" as he then crumpled up the paper and threw to the ground. He then began the ritual stomping up and down on top of it, when the bearer of the Soul noticed something out of the corner of eye, the indistinct word 'Kilik'. Immediately his foot from the torn paper, he snatched it and began to skim the words upon the page. It was actually a flier for the band, 'K.M.X Connection', which just happened to be the band our trio is in. Speaking of our heroes. what are they up to?  
  
"I can't believe how long we gotta work with that jerk!" yelled Kilik as he pounded his fist down onto the counter of the bar. The other two nodded in agreement and sighed with heavy hearts as they both downed what was left in their mugs. "I can't believe how strict he is too, we had ta' sneak out to get here." Maxi sluggishly announced with thin air. Xianghua kept quiet and put her head on the counter, when suddenly Heihachi burst through the door and grabbed the three by the collar dragging them out the door "Come now. Guys, you have papers to sign, deals to announce, and fans to dissapoi. err I mean cheer up!" he laughed as he let them go in the street. "Hey, common get up and let's go!" as the other three moaned and pathetically followed him.  
  
"Yes, this is it, this is how I shall get my revenge!!!" Nightmare evilly laughed into the sky "I will form a 'and', and then I shall defeat these fools at their own game!" He then began to do a victory dance. "I'm gonna beat their sorry asses and those fools have nothing to about, stupid mortals, stupid mortals, na na na na!" as he then tripped and fell backwards. He then stood up," Someone.will.pay!"  
  
Lounging in backstage, the trio was once again trying to find some peace away from the music world when suddenly Heihachi rushed in and unraveled a piece of paper, and handed it to Kilik, "Read this!" he stated with a nervous tone. "Tryouts for band to compete with. K.M.X. Connection!?!? What the hell is this"? Heihachi gave him a look, "Exactly what it says! If you don't keep your act up, this 'Seigfried' is going run you out!" Maxi whispered "And that's a bad thing?" Ignoring the comment Kilik gave a surprised look "Wait, did you say Seigfried, where have I heard that before?"  
  
So Nightmare's formalized a plan to take on Kilik, Maxi, and Xianghua, and is going to hold tryouts! Who will be in the band? Will Kilik realize the truth? Why am I asking you these questions? See? That was two more questions. Anyways, the answer to these questions and more in the next chapter "Nightmare's Tryouts", and stay tuned to.  
  
Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands 


	3. Nightmare's Tryouts

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd Mcfarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO.  
  
Author's Note: Well there was a mix up with chapter names, this chapter was supposed to be called "Nightmare's Tryouts", when I screwed up and called the last chapter that. Well I fixed the problem. So here ya' go. Oh, yeah by the way, I decided to make chapters L---O---N---G---E---R (much longer) and add little things to show I'm changing who we're going to like ' ~*^*~' will appear when I go from Nightmare's story to our hero's (and vice-versa), and I'm also doing another story just if chapters take longer to post.  
  
"So what your telling me is, you want me to work for this band WITHOUT any pay?" asked a confused Spawn. "Well… if that's the way you put it, yeah" answered Nightmare. "WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR!?" as he then proceeded by kicking him in the shin, and began to storm off, flames engulfing his body. They were in a local theatre Nightmare had overrun to do his band tryouts. "When you're a fancy, selfish git like me, what's the point of money? Mweeeeeheeeeheeeheeheeeeheee" laughed Raphael as Spawn bumped shoulder to shoulder passing by, "Why what a spoiled…. AAAAHHH!" he then began to stop, drop, and roll as the 'bump' had accidentally caught him on fire.  
  
Nightmare sighed as heavily breathed "Next now… COME ON I AV'NT GOT ALL DAY YA' KNOW!" as Cervantes stepped up. "Come with me to hell!" he loudly exclaimed. "No thanks… I'm good." Nightmare gave a weird look not understanding where, exactly, that came from. "Darkness is coming!", Cervantes then exploded. "Ok now your pissing me off, would you just say something that actually makes some sort of sense…" Cervantes then randomly yelled, "Your soul is mine!." Nightmare simply sighed "Next."  
  
Astaroth then stepped up. "Do you have any special qualifications?" Nightmare questioned the giant. "Um…. I can play the drums kind of good…." Nightmares squared up, "Really?" Nightmare he asked then, "Let me see." Astaroth sat himself at the drum-set to the right of Nightmare. "Ok… here goes nothing…" As he rapidly began to play. He played a beat that began to shake the stage floor, it cracked in several places where flames leapt out and lesser demons (which were no more than 2½ feet tall) grabbed the edges and forced their way through, then bowing to Astaroth and continuously keeping the pattern while chanting "Burgers for 99 cents on Tuesdays… Mega-Milkshake Mondays are half off the normal price of fries…"  
  
Nightmare simply put up his hand indicating to stop, as he stopped and the lesser demons stood up, and began to chatting to one another saying things like "That was friggin' awesome!" and "He can really play" and "Awe man, the chocolate melted in my pocket." Nightmare stared at them before turning back to Astaroth "Great, your in, but work on that riff." as Astaroth then nodded. "Ok, that leaves me with me on guitar, you on drums, and we need a bassist and another guitar….." Nightmare then pulled out a seat for Astaroth next to him "Ok now, next."  
  
~*^*~  
  
"Tell me why we're doing this again now, Kilik?" Maxi asked heavily, as they were in an Athens recording studio. "Well if Seigfried, Nightmare, whatever you want to call him, is getting members for his band, I think we should get a bassist and a keyboard player." Xianghua rolled her eyes and responded to Maxi "Because Heihachi told us to." Maxi then put his head on the table and sighed something that sounded familiar to a certain word sounding like 'duck'.   
  
Mitsurugi then stepped up to the table "I have come from a land that hails from far away for this moment, and now I shall prove my talent!" he pulled out an acoustic guitar and began to tune it. Once done tuning he then made one excellent strum, and proceeded with a tune and began to sing with a strange western accent "My my Miss American Pie, Drove my Chevy to the levy, but the levy was dry…"he happily chanted when suddenly "ENOUGH!" Kilik yelled clutching his ears, Xianghua had two cotton balls in hers, and Maxi was clearly gone, "sorry… your not exactly what we're, ahem, looking for."  
  
"Fine, if that's the way your going to be" he scoffed back to his Japanese accent, "then you're a bunch of people, with, well, silly names, YES! THAT'S IT! FROM NOW ON, MY CHILDREN AND THEIR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN WILL THANK ME THEIR ANCESTOR OF GRACE AS YOU ARE NOW THE BUNCH OF PEOPLE WITH SILLY NAMES! HAHAHA, WHO WINS NOW LOSERS!?!?!?" as he stormed off laughing. Kilik simply looked confused with Xianghua as he then stated "Okay… that was really weird…"  
  
A weird looking kid, 17 maybe, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and some strange green clothes stepped up, right before Maxi came out of the curtains "Is that weird Japanese guy done singing?", then sitting in his seat he looked at the Hylian, "What, is it Halloween already?." Kilik looked at the guy, and then laughed "Ooh snap Maxi, he got you good."  
  
Maxi looked at him confused "Wha… he didn't say anything!" as Kilik then responded, "Umm… I'm pretty sure he did, what are you, deaf man?" Maxi looked at him and shook his head "Whatever, dude just play some cool bass for us."  
  
Link (I'm sure you all guessed it correctly by now) pulled the Master Sword off his back. Oddly, he pushed the Triforce symbol on the hilt and it grew tuning keys out the handle and the metal wires came down, latching to the bottom, "Wow, how so, like, nifty!", Xianghua happily exclaimed "Umm… what did you say your name was again?" He looked at her and blinked. Xianghua raised an eyebrow when Kilik suddenly burst out "LINK! HIS NAME IS LINK! WHAT ARE YOU DEAF TOO!?" and she fell backwards.  
  
~*^*~  
  
  
  
  
  
"Great, your in" Nightmare said invitingly, but with deep purple circles under his eyes. Astaroth was asleep next to him, and Ivy was shaking his hand, being their second lead guitarist. The two had been there for at least twelve hours now, and the lesser demons were all around, some smoking, some sleeping, some drinking, some playing poker in the corner betting many different and disgusting. Everyone was ready to fall asleep, not including those little ones who already were asleep. Then, the walls rattled and the room darkened, as the door burst open with a gush of black wind.   
  
A flaming sword came through the roof and was set straight down into the ground, like Excalibur ready to be pulled from the rock, and was grabbed by the blade. The figure was shrouded in darkness until the walls themselves became a burning lightshow. Nightmare grinned, Astaroth's face lit with joy, and Ivy eyes narrowed as her lips curled. The demons bowed whilst a few other lesser demons were unfortunate enough to be running around burning. Nightmare pleasantly stated "Why, I think we've found our bass."  
  
Who could this bassist be? Is he the physical form of Soul Edge? Or some other evil being? And what about Link, is Kilik really the only one who can hear him, or are those two deaf?  
  
Plus, word has it that Mitsurugi will also join the competition off of anger! Find out this and more next time on…  
  
Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands 


	4. All the Bands Are Discovered, and the Tr...

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd McFarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO.   
  
Author's Note: So everyone, has it been getting better or what? But I got flamed on the phone by my own friend! How rude, yeah? Oh god… now I'm starting to sound like Wakka from FF10... Well anyways here's where things'll really get weird. Well in my opinion in any case ( especially the Necrid you guys'll get to see). Thanks for the reviews, Razzbairee, NeoSwordsman, and LilFilipinoGurl. If anyone happens to wonder who Magicka is, that's the fictional version of myself. He is an evilly ambitious person who wields an evil javelin called 'Enciphered Rage' and looks in his teen years, no shirt and basic green pants and brown boots, brown spiky hair etc. ( He is Cervantes's apprentice in a much older fan-fiction on another site for SC1). Well here we are, hope you enjoy it. Meep-na! (*Meep-na~ Ambiguously gay Star-Trek talk that I'm not too sure what it means.)  
  
"…Your joking, right?" asked a nervous Heihachi. "I'm sorry to say, but that's what the Namco dealers seem to be proposing" replied a well-dressed Necrid, with reading glasses on, dress shirt, tie, dress pants, large black dress shoes on (But the spikes come through the shirt, I mean, where else could they go?), as he continued skimming the file papers. "Currently, Namco is willing to offer this new band, Demonic Pledge, much more than the K.M.X Connection for a record deal." Heihachi rubbed the bald of his head "How much are we talking exactly?" As Necrid then nervously replied "We're talking thousands, sir."   
  
"Jesus Christ, we're in trouble." as he then started to click his pen rapidly out of nervousness "NECRID! Fetch me my pink bunny slippers!"  
  
~*^*~  
  
"Well if we're gonna have two new members, we might as well legally change the name of our band, since we can't call it the K.M.X.L.Y Connection, or something close to it." announced Kilik. Yes, our trio has now become a quintuplet, the band now includes Link, as you all knew, and the ever famous Yoshimitsu. "We call band The Namus?" replied Yoshimitsu.  
  
"How about we call ourselves… The Presleys?" then buzzed Maxi, as everyone sat around a table at a local Athens diner. "No, no, no, we should be, Kali-Yugas!" announced Kilik. "Not on your lifetime, asshole, how about The Pretty Pony Princesses?" glimmered Xianghua. Everyone stared at her. Link then looked at Kilik, blinking once or twice. "That's a great idea Link! I think The Warriors of Soul is a great name!" Everyone looked at each other and then began to nod in agreement, "Sure, I think that name sounds good" said Xianghua. She then thought Did he say anything? I swear there was no noise…  
  
Maxi was cleaning his ear with a Q-tip hoping that the next time Link 'spoke' he might have a chance of hearing him. The waitress walked over, politely asking "May I take your order?" Kilik then began to stare at her. "You look very familiar…" he pondered, "I can't quite put my finger on who you are…" As the waitress began to nervously sweat "Umm… ma-may I take your order, sir?" He then stared at her a few more seconds until… "CASSANDRA!? Are you supposed to be, like, praying at some sort of temple!?!?" Cassandra made a gesture to 'shush'. "I'm trying to make some cash! Don't get me fired! Besides, I do that stupid job for no pay anyways…" Xianghua gave her a look of approving, Kilik nodded, Maxi didn't care skimming the menu, Link smiled, and Yoshimitsu could be heard from the bathroom yelling "NAMU NAMU NAMU!!!!"  
  
Maxi decided "Yes anyways, could I get the double patty with extra mayo and…"  
  
~*^*~  
  
  
  
"Well my band! We will show the competition no mercy! We shall destroy those bastards with the music we create together, for together we are… LugNuts!" cheered Misurugi. "Together we are unstoppable Voldo… Charade… Berserker… Taki… and Lizardman!" As the seven then cheered "Let us play!" As they than began to play a catchy country beat. Voldo on tambourines. Charade at drums. Berserker at harmonica. Lizardman on banjo. Taki on the keyboard. Mitsurugi at guitar and singing, "Oh Susanna! Won't ya' cry fer' me, I come from Alabama with a banjo on ma' knee."  
  
~*^*~  
  
In the storm cloud covered sky of dark Pirate's Alcove, four souls gathered, oddly as these souls were nothing alike, yet felt the same feeling of ambition. "Yes… it is finally time" arose a dark figure surrounded by the sense of death. "Are we to truly go through with this? I cannot bear the guilt I feel when we rule the competition." Another figure wrapped in pride then spoke. "It isn't as if the other fools in this competition deserve to win, because they deserve to win as much as Cervantes has sense." Said a third figure wrapped in mystery.   
  
"Then it is settled… we shall enter this unworthy contest" said the first figure. "Yes, and finally I can prove myself to the rest of my kin" said the second. "And finally I will be recognized for by everyone that I am worth noticing, usually only staying as an unimportant character" said the third. "Well, we must…. Show our faces to the reader sooner or later right?" questioned the first. "Yeah, we have to wait for the creator to make something happen the lightens the area a little." replied the second. "Any day now…" the first said impatiently.  
  
A flash of lightning brightened the sky as the faces of those were FINALLY shown. Spawn, Yung Sung, and Assassin had gathered for a meeting… "Whaddaya mean FINALY!?" angrily demanded Spawn, "It was your choice when our faces would be shown, in any case, that damn lightning almost made me go blind!" So then I decided to cut the trio off from there, and go to our final two pieces of this chapter.  
  
~*^*~  
  
Cervantes had Magicka kneeling on one leg as Magicka then looked up to his master, "Cervantes, shall we enter the battle of the bands?" Cervantes looked at his young apprentice, and saw much if himself within him (and that may not exactly be a good thing). He then began to pace back and forth in front of him "Yes Magicka, we SHALL enter the battle of the bands, and we will rule the competition." Magicka looked up to his master, "Yes Cervantes, you are ever so wise."  
  
~*^*~  
  
"Heihachi, the reports are back." as Necrid updated the old business man/fighter, "Three more bands are entering the competition, but it seems as if one of these three new will even be a challenge." Heihachi sighed, sitting in his recliner with his bathrobe and pink bunny slippers on, blowing bubbles out of a pipe, "I wish there was no competition."  
  
Necrid looked at him "I understand sir." Heihachi gave him a look of approval and smiled, "Here you go Necrid, a reward for your work" as he then tossed him a doggie treat, and Necrid ate it off the floor happily. Heihachi read the papers himself, "So it's The Warriors of Soul against Demonic Pledge, LugNuts, Ryu-Kishin, and Cervantes and The Boy…"  
  
"Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I think we're screwed over"  
  
Well Heihachi maybe right, maybe not, find out next time on  
  
Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands 


	5. The Anticipation, Preperation, and a Lov...

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd McFarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO. Any Disturbed (trademark) material referred to in this story is owned respectively by Johnny K, Disturbed, and Giant Records.  
  
Author's Note: Guess what everyone… it's the chapter before the competition! This is when everyone prepares themselves and then next chapter… it's off! It's the first chapter where the competition actually takes place! How exciting, yeah?… I did it again didn't I? Oh well. I want to thank The Zelda Master for the cool review. And 'Master' (if I can call you that) I want to say you've got a funny-as-hell story too. Everyone who hasn't checked out Warrior Island, which is also an SC2 comedy, should check it out. Depends on who ya' are, but his may be funnier. Depends on the critics. Well Spawn, Yung Sung, and Assassin seem to have formed a formidable band for our heroes, and they still have to worry about Nightmare, Astaroth, Ivy, and this mystery bassist, who seem to be the biggest challenge. Mitsurugi may hold a threat in the end, who knows? I also took the liberty of making a chart that will explain the bands and who're in them. The only I don't think we will have to worry about are Cervantes and Magicka (no kidding why). Well here we are with chapter 5 and the chart!   
  
The Warriors of Soul = Kilik, Xianghua, Maxi, Link, and Yoshimitsu. Our heroes.  
  
Demonic Pledge = Nightmare, Astaroth, Ivy, and ???. Our hero's worst enemies.  
  
LugNuts = Mitsurugi, Taki, Voldo, Lizardman, Berserker, and Charade. The country group.  
  
Ryu-Kishin = Spawn, Yung Sung, and Assassin. The mysterious group that MAY come out to be a bigger problem than Demonic Pledge.  
  
Cervantes and The Boy = Cervantes and Magicka. Nothing to worry about, no true competition. Rumor says they may recruit some else.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Tensions rose as the crowd cheered, awaiting for the first performance. Everyone had gathered at the Athens's theatre where our heroes had been not more than a week ago. Everyone in the Demonic pledge were waiting at their own leisure. Most of them that is, the bassist still hadn't shown up. The Warriors of Soul were all talking to one another deciding on the competition, except Link, who was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed. The members of Ryu-Kishin were standing in the far corner of the backstage, covered in mostly shade, and were staring at Cervantes and Magicka. The members of LugNuts were all playing cards on the floor except Mitsurugi, who happened to be staring at The Warriors of Soul saying things under his breath like, "Bunch of people with silly names", and "Yes, they do have silly names, yes, they do, yes." And last and probably least were Cervantes and The Boy, who were in fact Cervantes and the boy. "What are they up to anyway?" Yung Sung asked himself.   
  
~*^*~  
  
Magicka looked at Cervantes's face from across his own in their huddle "What are we to do Cervantes?" Cervantes looked to his apprentice and simply laughed "What else? It is the battle of the bands after all. When I give the signal, we attack!" Magicka looked to his master "You are ever so wise Cervantes." Cervantes then replied proudly "Yes, yes, I know." he then reminded, "Remember… on my signal." The two then nodded before yelling "Break" and hitting each other's heads like the football players before falling down.  
  
~*^*~  
  
"Ok guys, when we get up there, I think it is our final decision, to play our song 'The Deed is Done and the Spirit is Gone'." announced Maxi to the other four members of the band. Everyone nodded in agreement, except Link, as he was now asleep against the wall. Smiling, Xianghua crept over to Link and tapped him on the shoulder, whispering in his ear "Linky, wakey time…" Her expression the changed to malice as she screamed into his ear "LINK, HEY! WAKE YOUR ASS!" Link then yelled awake and hit the ceiling… literally. Everything above his waist was clear through the roof.   
  
"Oy! Samuel, oo' that be?" as an old British man with a comb mustache came out of his recliner and stood next Link's head, drinking tea in his pajamas and velvet, purple robe. A second one came over, looking almost identical except for his green velvet robe and bush mustache, "Blimey, an' crock a pot Johnson! Smashing, another mate to share a spot of tea with… but shat! He came through the grummy like a rifle!" Johnson (the first British guy) then replied "My feck! That WAS smashing how that suddenly 'appened, but look at the mess the chap made!" Samuel then replied "Yes, yes, well bother with that! Pip pip, want some tea?" As Link happily nodded.  
  
Kilik, Maxi, and Yoshimitsu came through the door as the two old men were in their recliners around Link, having a conversation as Link just listened on happy with the tea and talk. "He's with some British 'mun!" Kilik and Maxi then looked at Yoshimitsu uncertainly as then Kilik asked "England's real? I thought it only existed in fairy tales!" Yoshimitsu then replied "No, no, I assure you, it's quite real." Kilik and Maxi were obviously shocked at this. "Wow… oh well time to go Link!" As the two old guys then jumped up, doing several back flips "Our guest shall go nowhere with you chaps!" Johnson said. As Samuel then pulled out a claymore and Johnson unsheathed a flambert. "Oh boy…" said Maxi as Yoshimitsu took out the Yoshimitsu, Kilik took out the Kali-Yuga, and Maxi took out the Soryuju.  
  
~*^*~  
  
The members of Demonic Pledge simply looked at each other and did not much of anything. Ivy finally spoke out "Why is it taking so long?" Nightmare sharply replied "It's the damned music committee, after this, I say we beat the shit out of them." The two other than Nightmare simply stated "Agreed." Astaroth then looked to Ivy "Ivy? What are you anyways, good or evil?" She then looked top him and replied "I'm too much of a sadistic psycho bitch to know, myself." Astaroth then grunted "Fair enough."  
  
~*^*~  
  
The three in Ryu-Kishin looked around at the competition. Yung Sung was reading a Todd McFarlane comic of Ozzy Osbourne, as others were littered on the floor below him like Spawn, Kiss Psycho Circus, Hellspawn, etc. Spawn was fairly interested at what was happening with Link, and listening to the clashes of steel and grunts of pain coming from upstairs. Assassin was sitting on the ground polishing his sword. Not much to do when your overconfident. "Don't even start that" sighed off Assassin.   
  
And yet again, this is where I cut them off.  
  
Well guys, it wasn't the best chapter, but it was important for the story… sort of. Anyways, on with the competition right? Next time on   
  
Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands 


	6. Still Waiting, Return of the Dead, and A...

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd McFarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO. Any Disturbed (trademark) material referred to in this story is owned respectively by Johnny K, Disturbed, and Giant Records.  
  
Author's Note: Yeah, it did take me long enough to post this chapter. That's because I felt lazy the last couple o' days. This chapter, they are STILL waiting (everyone may get annoyed at that). I have to say sorry to The Zelda Master for calling her a him (well actually a his, but same difference). We have two special guests in this chapter. One of the special guests will be easily guessed on who it will be, the other, far harder. Well I'm putting the chart back up in this chapter in case anyone forgets who and who and whatnot.  
  
The Warriors of Soul = Kilik, Xianghua, Maxi, Link, and Yoshimitsu. Our heroes.  
  
Demonic Pledge = Nightmare, Astaroth, Ivy, and ???. Our hero's worst enemies.  
  
LugNuts = Mitsurugi, Taki, Voldo, Lizardman, Berserker, and Charade. The country group.  
  
Ryu-Kishin = Spawn, Yung Sung, and Assassin. The mysterious group that MAY come out to be a bigger problem than Demonic Pledge.  
  
Cervantes and The Boy = Cervantes and Magicka. Nothing to worry about, no true competition. Rumor says Cervantes may recruit another SC2 character for the band.   
  
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"Well, that was quite disturbing" Kilik said as he walked down the stairs back to the stage closely followed by Yoshimitsu, Maxi, and Link. All were banged up and bruised except Link, who was happily sipping from a cup of tea. Xianghua couldn't help but laugh at the four, looking stupid, and Link to as he sipped the tea. "WE CANNOT BE SEEN LIKE THIS!" yelled Maxi. Link just looked at him. Yoshimitsu agreed "Yes, go to someone else right now, we're busy"   
  
So they stuck their hands out my way and I grumpily started to bring our story to Mitsurugi.  
  
~*^*~  
  
The four of the six were playing cards as Mitsurugi was leaning against the wall with his eyes closed, focusing on the upcoming show. Taki came up to join him. "So Mitsurugi… you nervous?" As the proud samurai simply laughed and raised his chin, "Why what an unnecessary question" as he then opened his eyes and looked to Taki "Do not worry Taki, we will rule the competition." As he then stood straight up and put his hand over his chest like he was ready to make a speech. "Oh boy… I never should have asked." As Mitsurugi then began "For the hailing of ancestry, it is our destiny to bring pride to whom we need it to be given to, for the that is the key of worth that… ARG!" As he tripped over Voldo playing cards.  
  
"AROOOOOOOOOGA!" yelled Voldo, "KREEEEEEEEEESHAZZZZK!" As he then proceeded by making strange noises sounding familiar to the yelping of a rather large dog. Mitsurugi was hopping up and down on one foot, clutching his big toe, cursing off anyone who's name came to mind. Everyone backstage stared at the spectacle the two were making, except Taki, who had her hand over her forehead in shame and walked into a corner, facing the wall.  
  
~*^*~  
  
Yung Sung stretching lazily after finishing his Kiss Psycho Circus comic. Spawn had gone of somewhere as what he described as 'revenge business' and Assassin had fallen sleep only a couple of feet away from him. "Man, how long would this take?" he thought to himself. When out of the corner of his eye, he swears he saw someone watch him from behind a box. Curious, he walked over to the box and looked behind. No one. Then he felt like someone just walked by. He spun around. Yet still, no one. He knew someone was watching him, but they were moving to fast. He began to eye everyone around him in suspicion. Was he going crazy? Chances say no. But who was watching him, and why?  
  
~*^*~  
  
Magicka and Cervantes were both playing with their GBAs and cable linked them, as Magicka announced "I will trade you my Pikachu for your Nidoran!" Cervantes then babbled "No, what a jip!" he then began, "I'll trade my Squirtle for your…." When a large 'whack' could be heard as Magicka fell face first to the floor, with a rather large bump growing from the back of his head. He quickly stood straight up and looked at who hit him. "Uh-oh…" as he took a step back, letting the GBA clatter to the floor. "YEAH THAT'S RIGHT UH-OH!" As Namika began to assault him with a rolled up newspaper, continually smacking his head as he ran around in circles. She continually repeated "HIS? HIS!?!?!? I'LL SHOW YOU!!!"  
  
Cervantes watched this and kept rolling his head around with the two as she chased him. Finally he couldn't take it anymore as he lunged himself at her with the Soul Edge and Nirvana. She simply stopped and kicked him in the groin, then smacked him upside the head as he hit the ground. Magicka then ran against the wall and stopped as she started to close in on him. "Namika… I swear I can explain! It was an accident! I never meant for it to happen! I knew you were a girl it was simply grammatical error I mean can you just let me off…" As she yelled, "No! You stupid thirteen year-old, wannabe weirdo!" As she then began to pound mercilessly over the head. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH" he screamed.  
  
~*^*~  
  
That's it. He wasn't going insane, he knew it! Why would he be? It wasn't like there wasn't a person who always happened to be behind him until he turned around! So this time he decided he would catch the bastard! Ah yes a trap! What a wonderful plan! Yung Sung sat down and waited until he felt that the asshole was behind him. He got the feeling and decided now was the time. FWOOSH! The trap fell and caught someone! As he looked around he couldn't believe his eyes!   
  
"You, you were supposed to be dead with the first game!" Yung Sung said in disbelief as Xianglian sat there under the net, "Yes, that is, because I am dead! Mwahahahaha!" As Cervantes yelled over, "HEY! THAT"S MY LINE!" And Xianglian looked at him strangely "Yeah, since when?" As he then replied "Since Namika's story!" As Yung Sung and Xianglian said in unison "Oooooohhhh yeah." Xianglian then waved goodbye as she poofed into thin air. Namika began to slowly tiptoe her way over. But Yung Sung noticed. "Oh no, your going to make me eat sour candies!" As he then began to run away with Namika arm's length behind him "Oh no, your not getting away!"  
  
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Well what an annoyingly weird chapter! Hope you enjoyed our guest, Namika, as she will probably read this and go 'that's me!' also you stay addicted, so you can read when the competition starts in the next chapter of   
  
Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Ban…  
  
"WAIT, WHOA WHOA WHOA!" yelled Nightmare, "I didn't appear in this chapter and I'm your favorite character. Even over Yung Sung, Link, and Raphael!"  
  
Yeah well, your not supposed to do anything after I make the ending speech-whatever-thing-shishkabobber! Oh right you wanted to do that thing with Raphael…  
  
"Yes, show some dignity and let us do our thing!" argued Raphael  
  
Sorry folks… um… can you hold on a sec while Seigfried and Raphael perform something? If not, then screw you.  
  
"Yes, yes, that's the way" sleazed Nightmare  
  
  
  
Alright, get this over with.  
  
Raphael gets on Nightmare's shoulders as Nightmare gets on a unicycle, Raphael begins to juggle bowling pins and Nightmare rides around three dancing monkeys while singing 'You Ain't Nothin' But A Hound Dog'.  
  
After a couple of minutes, I cut them off. Anyways, join us next time on…  
  
Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands 


	7. The Madness Begins!

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd McFarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO. Any Disturbed (trademark) material referred to in this story is owned respectively by Johnny K, Disturbed, and Giant Records. Any song related to Drowning Pool in any way is a strict trademark .  
  
Author's Note: Competition begins. Took so long because I was at a writer's block. 'nuff said.   
  
The Warriors of Soul = Kilik, Xianghua, Maxi, Link, and Yoshimitsu. Our heroes.  
  
Demonic Pledge = Nightmare, Astaroth, Ivy, and ???. Our hero's worst enemies.  
  
LugNuts = Mitsurugi, Taki, Voldo, Lizardman, Berserker, and Charade. The country group.  
  
Ryu-Kishin = Spawn, Yung Sung, and Assassin. The mysterious group that MAY come out to be a bigger problem than Demonic Pledge.  
  
Cervantes and The Boy = Cervantes and Magicka. Nothing to worry about, no true competition. Rumor says Cervantes may recruit another SC2 character for the band.   
  
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"If you don't kick some ass out there, I'll kick you assess!" affirmed Heihachi, as the five were just about to go on stage. Xianghua was sweating bullets, Kilik was stretching, and Link was absolutely unfaltered as he looked as confident as ever. Yoshimitsu was meditating humming 'Namu' and Maxi was pacing back and forth, like a nervous father awaiting the arrival of a new bouncy baby boy.  
  
"And here is are our first contestants of the night, come on out The Warriors of Soul!" Raphael's voice boomed as the crowd erupted in a cheer. The four of the five entered the stage confidently and took their places… until Xianghua stumbled up obviously pushed by Heihachi. No one seemed to notice or care. Four of the five nodded to one another knowing exactly what to play.   
  
They began with a short tapping by the drums, making it sound like a decently calm song. Recognizing the rhythm, Xianghua silently readied her vocals.  
  
All the instruments burst into sound as Xianghua began to sing loud, "Shout! Shout! Let it all out, these are the things I can do without, Come on! Imma' talking to you, so come on!"   
  
"You don't have to sell your soul!…"  
  
~*^*~  
  
While playing Shout 2000, that particular line 'You don't have to sell your soul' seemed to hit Seigfried Shtauffen in the head and chest. He gave a look of pain upon his demonic face, and not thinking it was emotional, he simply ordered "Ivy! Get the Tums!" Doing as she was told, Ivy opened a bag on the floor and tossed Nightmare the medicinal mints. Attempting to catch it with his claw, he accidentally crushed the package into a fine powder. "Shit" he stated clutching his chest.  
  
  
  
Astaroth was watching Maxi with a mix of jealousy, loathe, and pride. "My arch-nemesis as our competitor's drummer whilst I am our drummer… ironically convenient." Ivy then asked Nightmare, not minding that Astaroth was in his own little part of the universe next to her, "When is that damned bassist going to get here?" And Nightmare shot her a look that could have easily been read as 'No friggin' clue."  
  
~*^*~  
  
Spawn, Yung Sung, and Assassin were on the side of the curtains directly opposite of Demonic Pledge. Yung and Spawn were watching the band playing in front of them and Assassin was praying to the gods. Yung was deeply engrossed in watching them play when he was lightly tapped on the shoulder. He turned around and immediately saw Namika.  
  
"Umm… Hi"  
  
"Hiya! How you doing?"  
  
"Good… I guess…"  
  
"I'm gonna be in the crowd cheering for you!"  
  
"Really…that's…um… yeah…"  
  
"OK! I'll see playing!"  
  
As Namika then began to skip off. Spawn and Assassin were staring at Yung menacingly as he turned around, walked to the wall, and began to bang his head against it.  
  
~*^*~  
  
The two old Englishmen were sipping there as usual, nothing broken anymore, and themselves perfectly fine. Well almost. The rock music on top of the banging was REALLY starting to piss them off until Samuel grabbed a broom and began to band the handle against the floor, "HEY! SHUTUP DOWN THERE!"  
  
~*^*~  
  
As the song ended, all members were sweating but were happy finding this a sure victory performance. They exited the stage, Xianghua, Maxi, and Kilik exiting to the right. Link and Yoshimitsu exited to the left. The two smugly passed Ryu-Kishin, Yung still banging his head. As the three on the right passed Demonic Pledge, Maxi snorted at Astaroth and Kilik happily bitched "Top that!" Nightmare laughed as they passed and whispered to himself "Oh we will…we will…"  
  
  
  
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Well what did you think? Exciting! Oh yeah… by the way… Nightmare is going to be performing something after every chapter for your enjoyment and we're officially dubbing it the in-story series called 'The Seigfried Moment' a talk show hosted by your one and only Nightmare!  
  
~*^*~  
  
"But seriously, thanks Tony! And on with the shirt show!" announced Seigfried in a snazzy tuxedo as his live jazz band began to play a catchy tune and the crowd cheered.  
  
"Tonight's guest is my dear old friend Roy Horn, as well will perform a magic trick for your entertainment!" And as he said that Roy Horn came from behind the curtains.  
  
"Thanks Seigfried, yeah yeah, come here Mauler!" as a white tiger came from behind the curtains.  
  
The two began to attempt to cage the tiger for their trick.  
  
Oops.  
  
"AAAAHHHH! NOT AGAIN! GET IT OFF OF ME!" as the white tiger began to maul Roy.  
  
Seigfried gulped and began to painstakingly laugh "Heh heh…Uh oh… umm… anyways see you all next time on  
  
Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands" 


	8. The End

Disclaimer: Link is a trademark of Nintendo. Spawn and Necrid are trademarks of Todd McFarlane Productions. Any reference to KISS members or music is strictly owned by the respective owners Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley (The other two actually are employees for Gene and Paul). All other characters are trademarks of NAMCO. Any reference to the band 'Amon Amarth' is strictly comical, and they had no part in this or did not know of their appearance, and their music is a strict trademark.   
  
Author's Note: Everyone--- I know it's been a long time, far too long since I have written anything… but I have decided to once again use my creative side, and work with my brain--- create new stories, bring characters to life as they never have been before!  
  
To make a small few entertained, maybe touched, maybe shocked… somehow impacted by my work… my only problem… I have to finish this first… .; So here we go with the final chapter of it all…  
  
The Warriors of Soul = Kilik, Xianghua, Maxi, Link, and Yoshimitsu. Our heroes.  
  
Demonic Pledge = Nightmare, Astaroth, Ivy, and ???. Our hero's worst enemies.  
  
LugNuts = Mitsurugi, Taki, Voldo, Lizardman, Berserker, and Charade. The country group.  
  
Ryu-Kishin = Spawn, Yung Sung, and Assassin. The mysterious group that MAY come out to be a bigger problem than Demonic Pledge.  
  
Cervantes and The Boy = Cervantes and Magicka. Nothing to worry about, no true competition. Rumor says Cervantes recruited some help of sorts….  
  
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"Good show you guys… good show…" as Maxi offered his warm congrats to everyone in the band, "We should be proud of what we accomplished tonight…" As the others nodded in agreement, Xianghua offering her overly large smile. Then came on the announcer "Will Demonic Pledge please come to the stage now…"   
  
Nightmare opened his eyes… he stared down at a large crowd of people, holding his electric guitar, the Ibanez Iceman with it's sheen, black acrylic glare. Astaroth was at the drums, getting settled, as Ivy held her guitar as well, a Fender Stratocaster, with it's red outlook. Still, they were missing that DAMNED BASSIST. When would he arrive? Nightmare began to get worried.  
  
But they had to begin, otherwise, he would never get his revenge… but wait! The stage became dark, and fire licked the air like ribbons of reds and yellows and oranges, so bright to strain the eye, hot enough to sear the skin.   
  
They began to play a tune, as the figure touched the stage, black, bat-like cape spread like a demon, his tongue outspread like a knife slicing the pure air. An battle-axe bass guitar fell in his hand as someone yelled from the audience… who's voice could be recognized as Seung Mena, "Oh my god! Oh my god! IT'S GENE SIMMONS!!!" as then the crowd went into an array of ear-splitting screams. Some people fell over, unable to believe they were seeing Gene Simmons.  
  
"Yeah…" he laughed as the bass line started to a very familiar song, "You've got somethin' aboutcha'--- you've got something…" As he continued the lyrics to the ever so cool song 'God of Thunder'. The crowd went nuts…  
  
Maxi's jaw dropped as he couldn't believe the fact they had Gene Simmons as their bassist… the band's arch-enemies had one of the coolest, if not the coolest, bassist in all of freakin' rock and roll history. "We're doomed…"  
  
Cervantes laughed, as he was seen in a local Dairy Queen. Magicka was sitting across from him. "Why are we here again, Cervantes?" As the dread pirate laughed "Because my friend, I learned the tactics of this so called 'Battle of the Bands'… so I hired a band to take our place"  
  
It was almost time for the show to end… each band had taken their time on the stage, and gave a performance… so far, all good, but it really boiled down to our heroes and the ones we tend to boo for (unless you really like Demonic Pledge… I mean I HAVE nothing against them… ahem). It was the final band arriving, and it was supposed to be the band Cervantes hired. Everyone was curious who would enter the stage doors and take their place on the center.   
  
Tensions were high, as a slamming indicated someone arrived backstage. A few were heard chattering, and the dragging of some equipment. Suddenly the curtain were lowered. The entire crowd boo-ed, because they know it was simply so the band wasn't revealed right away.  
  
Some people began to hustle around… but then the curtains slowly lifted. The entertainers' feet were shown… people hushed. Then it came all the way to their waists… people awed. Then there were their necks… some people began to applaud as they knew who it was. Then the face of Johan Hegg, Olavi, and the rest of the ever-popular Swedish death-metal band, Amon Amarth became visible. Wasting NO TIME they rushed into the song, began the heavy beats, dominant lyrics, and healthy screams of 'Death in Fire'.  
  
Everyone… even the elderly, began moshing like there was no tomorrow. Beers and cheers filled the air, as the crowd now looked like a moving ant-pile disturbed by a four year old with a stick.  
  
"And the winner is… Amon Amarth!" Talim yelled with excitement, as she handed the band their ever so large trophy. Cervantes came unto the stage, and raised his fists in victory. The band accepted the trophy with smiles and laughter, as Johan began to chatter with Gene Simmons…  
  
"So close… we were so close…" Nightmare began to cry. "Ah, don't get your panties in a bundle…" Ivy said. Nightmare looked up and at her and whispered…"You know I wear those?"  
  
"Well… we tried" Kilik said. The rest of the band stared at him, as Maxi smacked him in the back of the forehead. "Yes… well I'm quite disappointed really" Link said. The whole group except Kilik stared at him in shock. "Say… that again?" Maxi asked. "…" Link made the more common response for him… absolutely nothing.  
  
"……_** Namu**_!"  
  
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Soul Calibur 2: Battle of the Bands… says goodbye to all it's loyal fans, and it's very new ones… I'll miss the project, but it's time to move on--- if this last chapter is a big hit, I'll think about a sequel sometime later in the year or next year, it was a good series, in my opinion, I really enjoyed talking to some readers… I especially want to give a thanks to 'The Zelda Master' for support---- sayonara, sweet dreams, I bid all of you adieu' and I hope you all continue reading, for the good of keeping literature alive…  
  
So long! 


End file.
